10/17/06

I haven't been doing any journal writing in awhile. Partly because I have been working on the 2nd draft of my novel, and partly because I have had some unfortunate events occur in recent months that have made life a bit of a daily struggle, and I don't feel like writing about the negative so much.

It's a rainy gray day in New York City. Last night I went to a little roof party at my neigbor's house. My neighbors being Mhina Dada and Lilah who used to be in The Imperial Orgy. I was so tired before I left that I almost bagged, but I went over looking disheveled and unkept.

When I arrived I was surprised to see a woman I have known for quite a few years but haven't seen in a couple years. Her name is Tracy. As soon as I saw her I felt attracted to her. She's smart and energetic, but down to earth. She is a furniture designer and interior decorator who is struggling to make it as a independent business woman.

It was cool and clear out and from the roof you could see all across Manhattan. The party was really only about five people, allowing me lots of time to hang and chat with Tracy. When I came home and went to bed I couldn't get her off my mind. I felt sick inside I had such yearnings for her. I awoke at 4:30 am and have been up since then.