A Girl Named Violet

Yesterday my leg fell off
Just from he knee down
I don't know why I didn't notice it
I can't imagine where I left it
At least it wasn't my head

Last Wednesday I went to my uncle's house for a picnic
The whole family was there
He said, this isn't right
There's a fly in the potato salad
It seemed like the world was coming to an end
Things couldn't get much darker
Everyone agreed

I've been very concerned about Brittany Spears
I can't get her off my mind
I can't get any work done
I've been losing sleep
I hope things work out for her

They don't have weather reports on the news anymore
Only extreme weather alerts
And dangerous weather outlooks
It's very nerve wracking
Sunny days just don't make headlines these days
Mushroom clouds would be sexier

I have a movie I have to take back to the video store
But I just can't find the gumption to get up and do it
It's really becoming a catastrophe
Each day it's like another shovel of dirt is thrown on my grave
I should have never rented that movie
But you can't change the past

I don't know any girls named violet
But I think about her all the time